Someone close us to passed away recently; closely related she was.
A lot of people – close family, friends, even neighbors were there saddened with the passing. They spoke good about how the person was and many things we can expect being told about that person. Most likely no one said anything otherwise. Possibly also because as I have personally known, the person was a good human being. The person deserves all the praise and compassion that was shared.
The view was very sad and situation was very overwhelming for the closest of family members. The passing was unexpected and yet there was a sense of comfort that the person passed away peacefully amidst surrounded by close family
While I was part of the grief overtime I became a detached observer. There was no loss of grief or compassion for the person in me, but I found myself thinking about death in general and what possibly it meant.
Our lives are like a blip between two extremities or unknowns. Before and After Life will probably will be an everlasting mystery. And yet in that blip we individually observe, carry, create, feel, accommodate so much and more.
Good or Bad, Right or Wrong everything and every action gets defined in that blip. Everything strangely ends after the living passes. Over time no one cares, no one remembers and everything will be or will not even be logged anywhere.
This strangeness of life and death has been thought about and probably also written about. So nothing new in my thinking that day, I thought. So what was I really thinking new? Nothing, and nothing I was thinking had an answer or a logical end. The only end to the thought could have been “just forget it. This is going nowhere”.
We will be forgotten, even by our closest, over time. Some lives get documented (Gandhi or even Hitler) but largely everyone else goes away without any markers or even a remote trace. Everything felt empty and meaningless.
So why are we even born and why do we go away? And where? Heaven/Hell? To God? To some dark abyss? Or do we just become some light or a star or a moon or become space dust? Or do we just become ash and get spread over earth and remain as that.
Now that thought led be to where we came from. How did that sperm that gave birth to us get life? Something in man created a living sperm. How did man create a living sperm? How did man get this ability to create a living sperm?
God
Then all my thoughts moved to God. Ganpati, Shiva, Hanuman and I also thought about all the Devi’s. Then I thought of Jesus, Moses, Allah. Who amongst these is responsible for all of this? More importantly who can give me answers. How should I ask, pray or praise to get these answers?
Then I thought I’m asking for an answer from a God no one has ever seen! God is Someone, some say sits above in the heaven, some say the earth is God and some ask me to look within. Without getting into what I did, I thought of all those people who have followed all these way and yet I’m certain of one thing, no one has any answers but everyone claims they are right and on the path!! More so, each of these believe that one day we will, but again I know we don’t.
Science
I believe I’m a person who has a scientific mind and therefore has the itch to question and find answers. Some people like me who are ‘scientific’ are also lazy! We look at times but mostly wait for answers!!
Science tells me everything is stardust and all the chemical activity and principles of physics we observe is the truth that is evolving around us. We can date back to the Big Bang. We can also question what made everything and we can also question that if God made everything then who made God? I know what most of us think at this moment. God made everything and he knows the answers to all questions.
One possible good answer that ‘answers’ this is from a movie called Angels & Demons. A character in the very end says something which sounded very logical to me. He says……
“We as humans and probably all living beings or otherwise are devoid of the strength or the ability to understand the creator or the creation. We are limited to this fact and we are possibly not made to be in a position to understand – this could also be quite intentional.”
Science also talks about dimensions that is interesting and yet doesn’t give answers. The believers say “why go through all this? Just believe in God”.
Question is what do I believe? and How?
